


Is This Love?

by supergirlshero85



Category: Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 19:08:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10703253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergirlshero85/pseuds/supergirlshero85
Summary: Ryan gets lost undercover and a secret comes out. How will this secret affect his relationship with Mae?





	1. Chapter 1

Mae’s heart broke as her eyes fell on the picture that came up on the screen. Ryan had gone missing under cover, somehow Jack had talked his way onto the case and now she was seeing pictures of the man she loved screwing another woman. Swallowing the hurt she focused on the picture that she saw.  
“If you look at the pictures, it seems Ryan has a safe house it’s the same room in most of the pictures. I think that’s where we should start.” Clara told Jack while Mae quietly read over the file in front of her.   
“Yeah, boss Clara is right this is the same house in all the pictures. It would be a good place to start.” She agreed quietly. Knowing the faster they found Ryan the faster she could get home away from it all.   
After a bit more going around Jack decided he and Simmons would go to the house and Clara and Mae would check in with the local police.  
On their way to the local police station, Mae pulled out her phone sadly scrolling through the few pictures of the pair of them together she had.   
“Mae, are you ok?” Clara asked as she briefly turned to her best friend.  
“You haven’t been all here since the jet. So come on talk to me.” Sighing Mae put her phone away.   
“You know how I haven’t been asking you to go out much? There is a reason Clara Ryan and I have been dating I guess, who knows. We were something we got together back before he went undercover and it was great. Then he had to go and it’s been hard. But he keeps in touch. Today seeing the pictures back on the jet I realized just how little I actually meant to him.” Mae said the last part holding back tears.   
“Hey, no, he’s undercover you know that was to keep his cover. Mae, you're amazing and I am sure once Ryan is found he can explain it all to us, to you. Let’s focus on getting him home then we will make sure he knows just how special you are and what you deserve. Don’t worry Mae, I have your back, always.” Clara said as she pulled into the police station. Squeezing Mae’s hand comfortingly before getting out and heading in. 

After a few hours piling over all the recent cartel-related deaths. Mae was about to scream out in frustration when her phone started to ring. Seeing Ryan’s number she quickly answered.   
“Ryan, baby is that you?”  
“Yeah, Mae it is I need you to help.” He said a bit slurred.   
“Keep him talking,” Clara said as she had Monty run a trace. When they had an address, Clara called Jack, then the pair took off. Mae trying to keep Ryan talking, worry replacing any sadness she felt.   
By luck, they showed up at the run-down house together. Jack taking off out of the car and calling out to Ryan. They had just split up when Ryan came limping out a fire going in the distance. He practically fell into his dad’s arms.   
“Dad, try and breathe, I am fine. I had to fake my death but to them I am dead. It’s done, I had to end it. Somehow they found out Shelia was a cop and it got ugly fast. I got her over the border safely but they saw me and while they don’t think I'm an agent they think I can’t be trusted. They wanted me to kill her dad. I couldn’t do that. So tonight I heard I was to be dealt with. I was at the bar and took a bullet, and a beating but somehow I got away. I got away and drove my car off the cliff, they just didn’t see me roll out first. Ryan explained as they made their way back to the jeep. 

Once back on the get Mae got Ryan all cleaned up and bullet removed. Then she after most of the adrenaline had run it’s course sadness came back. Strong almost as if the sadness was choking her from the inside. Not wanting Ryan or the others to see her like that Mae headed to the back of the Jet. Ryan barely waited until his dad was on the phone updating the director before he was up heading after Mae. Just as he reached her Clara slide in between the two of them.   
“Ryan, she needs time and you’re going to have to give it to her. We saw the pictures and while we understand on an intellectual level it was what you had to do, as your girlfriend her heart's breaking. So just give her some time.”   
“I love her Clara with all I am.. I screwed up but I guess your right. Tell her I will call her once we get home.” He said before turning and limping back up to the main deck.  
Once he was gone, Clara turned and took her best friend into her arms hugging her best friend close. Mae who hadn’t been able to hold back all her tears did her best to pull herself together. When she was composed she wiped her eyes. And only when Mae was ready did she and Clara head back to the main deck to write up their end reports as they headed home.


	2. Chapter 2

Ryan hated knowing Mae was mad at him. He was stuck in his old childhood room being doted on by his mom. Though as much as he enjoyed being home he hated not being a hundred percent and being dependent on people. He needed to get better and find Mae. She had ignored all his calls and texts, but he needed to see her so he could explain. If he could see her beautiful face he could explain that the woman meant nothing. It was all to keep his cover. 

After finishing his mother's latest meal he got up and grabbed his keys. Seeing her nervous face he held his hands up in a mock salute. “Mom I am just going to friends I will be fine and really I am a grown man. I love you but I need to go see her.” Hugging his mom quickly he was out the door. Getting behind the wheel of his black Yaris, he pulled out of the long driveway Ryan headed towards Mae’s apartment. Not wanting to be sent away again he parked down the block then used the hide away key to let himself in. Hearing the shower water running, Ryan closed the door then hobbled to her bedroom to wait. And that was still where he was waiting when Mae emerged from the bathroom, almost thirty minutes later hair wet and her body in comfortable clothes. Seeing Ryan on the bed she jumped a few feet back.   
“What the hell Ryan? Why are you here? Have you never heard of knocking?” Before she could leave however Ryan’s hand was around her wrist pulling her towards him.  
“No, no, listen please! Mae just listen, then if you want me to leave I will. But please hear me out I can’t lose you, not without a fight.”  
Nodding Mae pulled her arm away before sinking down onto the bed next to him.  
“How can you explain the pictures Ryan? You were screwing another woman. You forget we all saw.” Mae said biting her lip as a few tears prickled her eyes.  
“Yes you saw pics but they were staged, she was undercover to. It was fake sex. I swear she’s married and my heart belongs to you.” Ryan said as he cupped her soft cheek.   
“Mae coming home to you is what kept me going. I hated missing my mom’s birthday, yes, I remembered the day we were going to tell her about us. And I missed it. But sweetheart you're the one I love what can I do to show you?”  
Mae who had been quiet up until now, looked over at Ryan silent tears stained her freshly cleaned cheeks.   
“I don’t know Ryan, I mean I get it when you're undercover you have to do things to survive. I just didn’t think that meant sleeping with other women. I don’t trust people easily Ryan I may put on this strong face dealing with what we do, but inside I'm vulnerable and seeing that broke me. That being said, this week has been hell, knowing your right there and me not being in your arms. But it hurts Ryan.” Mae finished her hands wringing together in her lap.  
Turning to her Ryan slide closer to her.  
“You, Mae Jarvis, are my life. I won’t let that mistake be the end of us.” Ryan said as he wiped her tears away with his thumbs.   
“Let me show you all the ways I love you then if you want me to leave I will, I promise.”  
Ryan said as he got on his knees pressing a kiss to her shoulder blade.  
“First, I love the way your nose scrunches up when you smile.” Sliding his hand down her sides he grasped the bottom of her grey shirt pulling it right over her head.   
“I love how smart you are. You know things I can only hope to know one day.” Ryan said as he ran his fingers up her back to her bra clasp. Undoing it, he watched it fall with a smile.  
Watching her bra fall Mae turned Ryan wondering if this was just a way to get her into bed. However seeing him point to the bed she decided to play along and see what his plan was. Laying back on the bed like instructed she smiled when she saw his blue eyes dancing with excitement. Just like they did the first time they had made love.   
“I love that you always give things your everything, including us. Don’t think I forgot the cute little messages you send me daily.” Ryan said as he pressed small kisses down her front.   
“I love how much you care about the people you love.“ He said, as he kissed until he reached her sweats. Lifting up Ryan slide off her sweats and black panties before spreading her legs.   
“I love how you were able to hold it together when my dad found me by accident,” Ryan said as he slid two of his fingers inside of her warm center stroking her wet walls gently.  
“I love the way you kiss me after a hard case and let me hold you on nights you can’t sleep.” Feeling Ryan touch her in just the right place her anger and sadness quickly turned into lust.   
“I love the way you make all the foods I love when I get home even if you’ve just got back from a case,” Ryan said as his fingers found her clit taking turns between flicking it and stroking it.   
“I love that you have our non-existent kids named,” Ryan said before he slid his fingers out replacing them with his warm tongue. As his hands held her thighs he fucked her slowly with his tongue. Mae started to wriggle and move her body along with his tongue’s thrusts. Ryan expertly flicked and sucked her clit, his hands holding her in place as he did. Their bodies moving together was the only sound in the room. Finally reaching her peak she screamed out his name happily. Panting Mae laid back on her pillows smiling as Ryan wiped his mouth.   
“And, most of all Mae, I love you because you complete me. So please don’t give up on us.” He finished. His now very tired body collapsing next to hers. Turning to Ryan Mae wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him deeply, tasting herself as she did.   
“I love you too, Ryan. I do and I’m not leaving you.” She finished before covering them both up, Mae snuggling right up to him as she drifted off to sleep. Ryan stayed awake a while longer just watching her sleep, making her a silent promise to never make her feel this way again.


End file.
